I spent three hours of my time yesterday planning the equipment I would need for a couple of campaigns I have to shoot over the weekend. Three hours – after work, after the kids had been put to bed and after I really should have been in bed. Three hours that in all probability, should have only have been one. Because I’d forgotten that you’re great with what you’ve got.

You see, I have a tendency to either be recklessly impulsive or painfully indecisive. It turns out there is no in between with me. Yesterday was a day that indecision kicked in. Three hours was spent scrolling through customer reviews for a handheld gimbal I didn’t really even need and a tripod that although I did need, will only ever be a backup so I probably didn’t need to have spent so much time looking into the perfect, low price-high quality product. Oh, there was also much time spent agonising over whether to buy another ring light even though I know that outside of the upcoming campaigns, it’s bound to be used purely as an extra source of lighting for work zooms, to which a regular desk lamp would suffice. 

My shopping basket came up to £300 to which I completely balked and promptly deleted half of the items. The gimbal I’d talked myself into was discarded without a second thought and the ring light replaced for a bracket to fix the one I owned already. It’s funny how being seconds away from parting with hard earned cash suddenly reminded me of the virtues of recycle-reuse…

Whenever I have a new challenge or task I can be so confident and excited about taking part. Then just before it’s time to actually take part, the self doubt will kick in. I’ll tell myself I don’t have the right tools to do it and the only way I’ll be worthy is if I own XY or Z. It’s nerves and my way of handling imposter syndrome. I know it is, but at the time it happens I’m not always thinking rationally enough to recognise this. So instead I fret over equipment I don’t need and I’m very privileged to be able to consider buying in the first place. 

I’m writing this because I don’t think I’m the only one who needs reminding that nerves are sometimes nothing more than nerves. They don’t make you less worthy of the opportunity you’ve worked so hard to get. Those who have commissioned or hired you, liked you for you. Not on the condition that you became version 3.0 of yourself in time for the campaign or job. You don’t need a fancy new piece of equipment in order to do a brilliant job. You just need to be yourself and commit to the task ahead of you as only you know how. 

I’m thankful I reminded myself of that before I made myself £300 worse off. Hopefully this will act as a gentle squeeze of your shoulder to remember your worth and excellence before it gets to that point too!

One Comment

  • Lizzie Roles says:

    This is such a great point Tinuke. I do this but slightly differently, mine is around how I look. Do I need to buy new clothes for an event. Or have regular manicures to be Insta-worthy. Like you say it’s just nerves that ‘I’m not enough’ as I am. Which of course I am! Great post 🥰

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